It has been a while since I have posted on my blog, and I apologize to those who have enough interest in my life to read my e-dribble. I still have no internet at home, so Starbucks is where I will have to go for now. Maui is wonderful and I love that I am here. I will post pictures soonish.
Since I have posted last my Ashtanga practice has improved vastly. I attend class at HYZ (house of yoga and zen) almost daily, I have missed class(not practice) a few times for a monthly staff meeting where I work, Flatbread in Paia. I went to a kirtan event with Krishna Das last month which was awesome! It definitely has me singing in my truck way more often, and occasionally parking it in lotus and chanting at home.
My asana practice continues to improve. I have been practicing 2nd series more often than first it seems. I can occasionally do Dwi Pada(2 legs behind head sitting up) without Nancy/Casey's help, and yes there is a teacher/assistant named Casey. I am pretty close to being able to hold Eka Pada(1 leg behind head) without my hands. Sometimes I can put my legs in lotus without my hands in Urdhva Padmasana. I was able to thread my arms through in Garba Pindasana today, and Casey was able to push me into Marichyasana D. I feel like I have been making leaps forward the last few weeks. I started practicing Guruji's Pranyama, and am up to the first 3 parts. I have been coughing up some serious stuff lately, maybe the Pranyama is cleaning me out even more or something.
Today in class at one point I started coughing, and Nancy mentioned that I should leave class next time so that I do not disturb others, apparently 5 people stopped their practice, maybe they should work on their pratyahara. She also tagged on a joke about me and another guy who has been coughing/phlegmy lately that the whole class heard. That said it was a pretty horrendous sounding series of coughs. After the scolding and little joke I was very upset. I was very wrapped up in thoughts from shoulder stand on, and it even followed me to work. I thought about just standing up and leaving class, I contemplated whether I should continue my practice with her at HYZ. One little comment had me devastated. First I was somewhat angry, then just hurt, I thought about leaving her shala to proverbially shake my fist in the air in anger, and going to one of the many other world renowned(maybe just western renowned) ashtangis in Maui. I thought about ending my Ashtanga practice and finding something else altogether, as sometimes Ashtangis blow my mind with their ego(me included). I thought about practicing at home until my phlegmyness subsides, mostly so I would not be in the position to be part of a joke and so my presence would be missed. Basically I was upset, and I knew very early on in my thought process that I was the source of the negativity I attached to the comment, and could not even fathom moving on from HYZ or Nancy.
Yet still I sulked and mentally ached to show them(I am a jerk). I moved on at some point in between making lemonades, smiling at customers, and being a part of the endless sassy give and take between coworkers. I decided to let it go, to do nothing, to know that it was my own ego/monkey mind reacting, and that I needed the ego bruising in some way for my own practice. While I do not feel like there was a huge revelatory moment there, I feel like I was able to plant a seed.
What that seed will blossom into I do not know, but I know it will help me with my goals. Every day* after I practice asana and pranyama I chant the student teacher mantra, and afterward I pray to become a better person, better man, better yogi, and find the state of Samadhi. I feel like this little seed will help me with the goals of my prayer. One day I may need another teacher, but for now I am so happy with Nancy and my own progress.
*not Saturdays or Moon Days
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